So I delivered my first baby yesterday. I have to say, so far (one week) I have really liked Ob/Gyn. Didn't think I would be that interested, but I am. After originally thinking I wanted to do FP or IM after graduating, and then going through my last month of inpatient IM, I am now thinking that there is just WAY too much info to know in general practice. Maybe a specialty is a better idea...
Anyway, back to the baby story. My doc had been out of town the previous week, so he didn't have time to "beat the bushes" as he puts it (maybe a poor choice of words in this context) to get inductions set up. Dr. Hoegh likes inductions. A lot. He sees no reason for a woman to go past 39 weeks if she doesn't want to. His day for L&D are Fridays (there are seven docs in the practice, they each take a day doing L&D for anyone that goes into labor and anything scheduled, and the rest of the days they see patients in the office). Alas, he had been out of town, so he couldn't convice all of his 39 weekers to come in and get induced this Friday, so we only had two inductions (reportedly 10 is more his style). They both went pretty quick and I stood by and observed on the first one. The next one was thirty minutes later. Dr. Hoegh got the head out and then stood up from the stool, turned to me, and said "take a seat." (I'm thinking of the poor woman in labor at this point. If I were her I would be thinking 'What the f&@*! Why is he letting a student deliver my kid?? But I guess maybe she had other things on her mind, like a baby half sticking out of her vagina.) So I sit down, suction the kids nose and mouth, put my hands around it's neck like Dr. Hoegh instructs, and start (gently) wrenching the thing up and down to get the shoulders out, and out that little sucker flies.
Now, I admit is was a cool experience and I look forward to doing it again. However, anyone who says childbirth is the most natural and beautiful thing that exists is a damn liar. There is nothing natural about something that size squeezing its way through the vaginal canal, or the bones of it's skull folding over each other, or a head sticking out of someone's legs with the body still inside. There is nothing pretty about 2nd degree lacerations or gushes of amniotic fluid and blood. Nothing. It's weird, it's freaky and it's hard to believe anyone can survive such a thing - baby or mother. Dr. Hoegh says that I am going to want kids by the time I finish my rotations with him. After yesterday, all I have to say is, there ain't no effing way that is going to happen.
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I appreciate your comment on child birth being neither beautiful or natural. It ain't. I've had the pleasure of seeing a few births, but haven't done the acutal pulling and tugging. I decided I would NEVER, EVER deliver babies after on particular delivery. As the doc pulled the slimey body from the va-jay-jay a beautiful cascade of blood and amniotic fluid errupted from behind the child. It landed right square on the doctor's face. Yes, his face. Including one eye. It was nasty. But the doc was good and just kept going with one eye shut. I offered to wipe his brow and he was quite appreciative. I'm all set, thanks.
um, that's why you wear one of those masks with an eye shield on it. disgusting. well, yesterday i did three more vaginal deliveries and helped on three c-sections. and as much as i can't believe i'm saying this, i would rather do vaginal. sections are brutal! and they take your uterus out and lay it on your stomach to sew it back together. there is just something wrong about that. as far as i am concerned there is no good way to have a child.
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